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Face Off: Diane Lane vs. Marisa Tomei

11.13.2017by: Droz

Who would have ever thought we'd be having a hotness Face Off between two of comics' most beloved motherly figures, Aunt May and Martha Kent? Prior to the last 5 years, I think most of us weren't really thinking of these two as doable - not unless you were in the 60+ age bracket or possessed some weird fetish. But then along came new iterations of the Super and Spider men and changed all that. Now instead of little old ladies, we got hotties from the 80s and 90s washing super suits and still killing it as hotties into their 50s. They, of course, go by the names Diane Lane and Marisa Tomei. But which revised comic matriarch adds sufficient hotness to the mix for you?

Beauty

We've gone on a bit of a journey with Diane's looks over the last 35 years or so. Back in the early 80s she was as fresh-faced and girl next door as they came - basically the epitome of every girl you wish you'd dated in high school. Then as the years passed Diane gracefully progressed into the gorgeous older woman you still totally would have gotten with. She's been making miracles happen in that regard for awhile now, with no signs of slowing thus far.

It's interesting how Marisa has braved the years with much of her youthful qualities intact. Yeah, she's got a little wrinkle here and there to mark the passage of time, but essentially she's just as fresh and sweet in the face as she ever was. Probably the most endearing quality Marisa has ever had for me is the disarming nature of her face. I can't imagine being spiteful or vindictive toward someone with a face like Marisa's. She'd really have to do something terrible to elicit such a reaction.

Body

Diane diverged from Marisa here and went the motherhood route in her late 20s, having a kid with The Highlander himself. Doing so never had much of an effect on her body that I ever saw. Fast-forward a quarter century and Diane is still in great shape. The above pic is her from earlier in the year, looking great in a bikini. Marisa feels like she's just a tad tighter in the bod area, but in terms of preservation you can't fault either one here.

I think we were all on the same page as Tony Stark when he marveled (wink) at the unlikely status of Marisa as a high school kid's aunt. She's certainly not built like an adolescent's middle aged aunt. Her qualities in the body area are why she can give the ladies her age pointers and tips about workouts and diets. Obviously their results are gonna vary there. Something tells me Marisa gets her hot body cred by nature.

Hotness

Diane has made a point of slipping a little nudity and/or sex into her roles every now and then. Those are cherished moments to be sure for someone like myself who has been enamored with her for a large portion of his life. It never even mattered to me how a lot of those moments transpired later in her life. As I pointed out above, Diane has always been a feast for a hottie-lover's eyes, especially when out of her clothes.

I might have gone with Diane on this one, were it not for Marisa's stretch of super hot roles in the late 2000s. Those nude/sex scenes in movies like BEFORE THE DEVIL KNOWS YOU'RE DEAD or THE WRESTLER opened up a whole different perspective on what Marisa was capable of as a hottie, namely incredible moments of hot body explicitness. Before that it felt like most of what we got from her was decidedly PG-13, at best. This made her borderline NC-17 stuff all the better.

Career

You could argue Diane comes the closest to replicating the traditional look of her comic book character, most especially in the upcoming JUSTICE LEAGUE movie. I prefer her not aged and grey, but then being unsatisfied with how Diane comes across in her movies is kind of a tradition for me. She's been synonymous with genres of movies I don't have much of an interest in for years. Yeah, there was some good stuff in there too, but it feels like a lot more of it consisted of things I'm ambivalent about.

Marisa has done her fair share of sappy nonsense over the years for sure. In fact, there are whole chunks of her career I have not a single idea about because it was mostly romantic drivel. But there have been times. Folks like to give her shit for the Oscar she took home for MY COUSIN VINNY, but I don't see what the problem is. She did a great job with that role and a number of others. She's a great actress, even if some of her movies weren't.

Marisa

Both these woman have had a tremendous effect on me in their time and continue to do so right up to the present day. They're two great women for sure, yet circumstances seem to give Marisa the advantage, even as my affections lean more toward Diane. Either way, you're making a fine choice.

Just one man's opinion. Which one you got?

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