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Face Off: Christina Hendricks vs. Kelly Brook

02.13.2017by: Droz

It felt like more people were in Dakota Johnson's corner than there were for Zoe Kravitz in last week's Face Off. Alright, so be it. I'm gonna stick with Zoe. She might be kinda weird, but I can deal with weird.

I'm waxing a little reflective lately. I've been writing for this site for some time - 6 years this month, actually. That means I've been around to see the field of preeminent hotties change a few times over now. Back when I first started contributing daily updates on the varied activities of celebrity's hottest women, there were a few names which ranked higher than others. Those names read Christina Hendricks and Kelly Brook. Hardly a week went by when we weren't posting something about those two, frequently for bearing seemingly impossible amounts of cleavage stuffed into dresses or bikinis ill prepared to handle the sheer girth of what they were being asked to contain. Those were good times, sadly much harder to come by now. Sure, Christina and Kelly are still around. Christina in particular has a movie coming out this week. Even so, they have both cut down sharply on the kind of full-figured displays which helped make them famous. That time may be over, but we'll always have the memories. Which hottie's abundantly busty display do you miss the most?


Christina can be a truly beautiful woman. Sure, she might be one of those faux redheads, but she's always worn it like a natural. Then there are other times when what can best be described as Christina's "unique style", takes a weird turn. The result is Christina coming across distressingly close to something approaching the typical clown face. I'm not sure why those errant moments of clowndom happen, but I'm much more about her when she keeps the makeup under control.

I know there are many things Kelly is synonymous with in the minds of her fans. Many probably associate her with buxom proportions, or even her once frequent nude spreads from a little while back. I too bring all of those things to mind when I think about Kelly. Just as prominent in my thoughts there is Kelly's lovely, smiling face. What a sweetheart she is when she busts out with one of those broad grins. No one lights up a room with her smile quite like Kelly does.


It could be said the whole curvy woman renaissance going on lately is largely Christina's doing. All those great moments of her looking amazing in throwback 60s clothes on Mad Men helped convince a whole generation how a big ass and wide hips didn't have to be an unattractive thing. I could have told them that years earlier, but the important part is Christina's body was hot enough to change a lot of minds. No matter what you may think of such women, that's still an impressive accomplishment.

If you're like me and spent a lot of time looking at Kelly over her nearly 20-year time in the spotlight, you know her body has gone through some changes. She was never what one could call slim. There's always been some roundness to her frame from day one. However, the last 5 years have seen her take on extra thickness, to the point where she and Christina are pretty close to equalized here. Yet we remain captivated with her every time a new calendar comes out. Even if she is bigger than she was, she's still Kelly.


Figuring this one out is a matter of quantity rather than quality. Christina's epic titty moments have brought forth copious amounts of drool and other assorted bodily fluids over the years. Beyond the boobies, she's a little harder to assess. Giant boobs have been her main route to hotness for a long time. On the other hand, Kelly goes the whole 9 yards here, which sounds like a winning strategy to me.

Hotness wafts from Kelly like the world's best perfume. Even when she's not trying, the effect is still apparent. This is a big reason why Kelly is the international sex symbol she is. I do miss the days when she was fond of getting full on naked, but even partially dressed Kelly delivers way more in this category than most other hotties. Some of the best stuff we've ever posted here came thanks to Kelly. And for that, she has my eternal gratitude.


The explosive qualities of Christina's body have provided her with fame and fortune. Unfortunately, I think those qualities also undermine her skills as an actress. I see her do a lot of more modest gigs since her time on hit TV shows. Could be she likes the art house stuff. Or she isn't getting the big roles thanks to the bigger size of her boobs. That sucks. I can't think of any reason why being stacked has to keep her sidelined, but I hear that can be a thing for such actresses.

I think it's fair to say Kelly's true talent is proving how much of a hottie she is in as many ways as possible. She's made attempts at parlaying her success at being a hottie into other things, with mixed results at best. Usually those other things involve her incorporating her hotness into them somehow. Hey, they can't all be award-winning thespians. Some are just good looking.


Both Christina and Kelly have been phenomenons for as long as they've been around. So sexy are they it has changed culture as we know it. Twist my arm and I'll admit to an understandable obsession with Kelly, for reasons obvious. That said, I doubt there would be any buyers remorse with either one.

Just one man's opinion. What are your thoughts?


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