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Face Off: Boobs vs. Butts

08.13.2012by: Droz

Slight bit of disagreement in our previous Face Off though you guys eventually gave Katy Perry the win over Zooey Deschanel by a 12 to 8 vote. It had to be at least somewhat of a close vote, seeing as how they're each others doppelganger. It still remains to be seen which is the evil one. No telltale goatee to distinguish the good from the bad.

Now, on to more basic concerns. You're probably like me in that you love the boobies and the asses. Otherwise, why would you be here? Still, just like with Elvis and The Beatles, you got your ass people and you got your boobs people. You can like both, but you probably prefer one more than the other. It's a tough choice nobody (everybody) wants to make. Still, when it comes down to it, everybody in their heart of hearts knows where they stand on the issue. So where you do stand in the battle between tits and trunks? Here's a few thoughts to help you decide.

The Look

It's been our instinct since forever to be utterly fascinated with the look of a healthy set of boobs. If you look over the entirety of human history, depictions of the female form typically emphasize the breasts over many other parts of a woman's body. That's just where the eyes go. Doesn't matter if your straight, gay, a man or a woman, we all have a fixation on the boobs to one degree or another.

On the other hand, those who make eyes toward the ass often have something other than ingrained human instinct driving them on. What does a baby need with a butt, after all? Psychologists would say that a person's fascination with the look of things happening below the waist is more about evaluating reproductive potential. Not a bad thing, though it does lack that deep down universal appeal factor the boobs have.

The Attention

It's been tradition, probably since forever, for the ladies to put the boobs out there when they desire a some attention. That's a trick people have known about since forever. If you've ever seen any period movies you're probably familiar with the busty, corset look. It's simply understood by everyone that there's an no better way for a lady to impress herself on the opposite sex than either demonstrating or simulating a healthy set of boobies.

Unfortunately, asses have not always gotten the same sort of emphasis in the quest to make a great first impression. Seems like attempts at garnering appreciation for a finely-crafted backside have only recently become a mainstream thing. Before that they were always hidden beneath layers and layers of complicated clothing. Perhaps it's just a logistics issue. Kind of hard to put an ass out there without revealing the rest of the body as well.

The Feel

So enough with looking at the boobs. What we really want is to get our hands on them. Am I right? Of course I am. That's god's own stress ball right there. Get yourself a handful and just feel the tension drain right out of you. Of course, the best part about that is even with the tactile benefits and the already discussed instinctual and visual appeal this part of the female body possesses, you're still only halfway home in terms of the entirety of the human sexual experience.

Which brings us down south, to where the second half of the game begins. The butt is universal - something men and woman can partake in equally. We've all got one, after all. Of course, like our opinions, we tend to give value to butts on a case-by-case basis. And much like with boobs, not all asses are made alike. However, getting a hold of a nice, cheeky ass can be just as fulfilling as any other grabbable part of the body.

The Owners

There's a very long list of splendid boob owners going back as far as people have been documenting such things. No doubt you've got your favorites. We all do. Our taste in boobs varies from person to person, but we all know what we like when we see it. That's one of those things that doesn't really even rely on the quality of the rest of the person. She might be horse-faced and knock-kneed. Yet, if her tatas are speaking to us, we'll always have something positive to say about her.

Pretty much the same situation with the butt. If it's working for you, then it works for you. Many of us are not fans of the Kardashians, but we love their asses. No matter what foolishness they pull, all they have to do is squeeze their ample backsides into something tight and they're instantly back in our good graces. Of course, we'd all like a complete package, with attractiveness both inside and out. We'll settle for a sweet rump roast if we have to though.


Hmmm, I was expecting to be biased toward the asses here. The amply cheeked have been getting much more of my attention lately. Not to say that boobs do nothing for me anymore. That would just be wrong. Butts just seem to be coming up on the old sexual radar more frequently as of late. Still, the boobies prevail in the end. Now that sounds kinky.

Alright, so I'm a boob guy. Which one do you prefer?
Tags: Face-Off


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