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Face Off: Anna Kendrick vs. Aubrey Plaza

07.04.2016by: Droz

Between Sara Jean Underwood and Charlotte McKinney, ya'll deemed Sara the better showy hottie, with some difficulty. They are pretty much different sides of the same coin, at least where their career achievements go. Imagine if we could somehow combine them together. The resulting super hottie would probably take over the world with her mega-size tits and perfect ass always on display. Probably best that such things are impossible.

This week sees the opening of MIKE AND DAVE NEED WEDDING DATES, starring Anna Kendrick and Aubrey Plaza. Irreverent comedies are nothing new for Aubrey. She's made something of a career out of those following the demise of Parks & Recreation. This is a little different for Anna though, who tends to opt for the more cutesy stuff where comedies go. Rumor has it Anna shows some skin in this, which would seem to conflict with her previously stated no nudity sentiments. I doubt Anna will go full on naked, but there's no telling with Aubrey, who sometimes goes quite far afield from what many might have expected from her not too long ago. Still, this looks like it's crammed with innuendo and raunchy content. But which raunchy hottie would you rather have as your date?

Beauty

I've had reservations about these two before here, not so much because I find them unattractive. Rather, it's because their looks seem to ebb and flow dependent on all sorts of variables. Anna, for instance, can look adorable as hell, or perhaps a bit mousey. There's no way to predict when this will shift from good to not so good. Between these two, I find Anna is the slightly more glamorous one. Although Aubrey has her moments too. Again, off and on.

I'm going to be a little weird perhaps and proclaim that Aubrey has never looked better to me than when she was the scowling, glaring April on Parks & Rec. So enamored with her did I become after 7 seasons of her moodiness that I find it hard to see her do anything like smile or laugh or be a normal person. I know, I'm probably an asshole for thinking that. Doesn't change anything though. I'm a sucker for the misanthropes.

Body

It would be easy to see Anna in a movie or around town in regular clothes and totally miss the quality of her bod. Unfortunately she doesn't always make as good a show of it as she should, which is a shame because she's got some wonderful things happening under those regular clothes. Fortunately there are always magazines for her to pose in and red carpets for her to walk. Usually one or both of those are good for a great Anna body moment.

It wasn't until recently when Aubrey started to find her inner show off in this area. Before that she was mostly a comic, dressed in jeans and hoodies, doing a routine not unlike her Parks & Rec character. However, when she let herself break free from that, all sorts of good things began to happen. I'm especially fond of Aubrey in a bikini. She might not fill it out as amply as others, but she still looks good in them nonetheless.

Hotness

So Anna has all the bits and pieces one would need to be more than adequately hot for anybody's needs. So why is it I always seem to think of her as more cute than hot? She is cute and she is hot, but for me the cuteness is stronger with her than the hotness. She just doesn't knock me on my ass like some other hotties do here. More roles like the one she has in this movie might change that, but for now Anna is less sexy and more adorable to me.

I suspect a monster was created when Aubrey realized it was okay to make a show of her sexy side. All of the sudden she went from moody and modest, to bikini spreads and entirely authentic-looking masturbation scenes in her movies. I approve of awakenings like these. The productions she does this stuff in might not always be the greatest, but it is great watching Aubrey show off in all these awesome ways. I'll gladly take however much of that she can muster.

Career

Most people think of Anna as this top of the line actress, with cred in that field dripping from her CV. In actuality, she's done just as many blah roles in crap movies as she has celebrated stuff. Despite this mix of good and meh, Anna has grown on me as an actress over the years. Too bad then that she tends to do movies I don't particularly want to see. A raucous comedy like M&DNWD might not be the most sophisticated movie ever, but at least it's something I'm interested in seeing.

As I just said, many of the movies Aubrey has done in recent years were kinda shitty. And if they're not entirely shitty, then they're merely easily forgettable. I don't know if she's gotten typecast or what happened, but she could be doing a lot more interesting stuff. I've heard some mention her as a perfect fit as the live action Daria from the beloved MTV animated series. Aubrey might be getting a little too long in the tooth for that role now, but we know she could handle the misanthropic types with ease in some other role. I hope she does.

Anna

I kind of like the idea of these two together in a movie like this. From what I've seen thus far, it looks pretty funny. But then again, it could totally suck ass. There's no way to know until one actually sits down to watch the thing. As for who wins here, technically Anna has the advantage. However, my bias is much more for the both of them in equal standing.

Just one man's opinion. What are your thoughts?

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