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Face Off: Amy Adams vs. Jessica Chastain

04.04.2016by: Droz

Most of us agreed on Zoey Deutch as the more impressive hottie comapred to Emma Roberts in last week's Face Off. Sounds about right to me. Yet as one person said, a 20-something Lea Thompson blows them both out of the water.

We just saw Amy Adams' big BATMAN VS. SUPERMAN release, which most people seem to think went terribly awry, despite clearing $700 mil already. It's wacky times at the cineplex nowadays, as evidenced by the fact that everyone will probably have forgotten all about BvS by the time Jessica Chastain's THE HUNTSMAN: WINTER'S WAR hits theaters later this month. That one will itself be quickly forgotten when CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR opens a few days later. Same old summer fun, as usual. No matter though, because how their movies do at the box office has no effect on Amy and Jessica always staying unforgettable, redhead goddesses. Which heavenly body do you worship?

Beauty

How could anyone not fall in love with Amy's face? Adorable has never been a good enough word for her. Even now in her 40s, when the years behind her have begun to take a toll, Amy is still adorable. It makes her the perfect damsel in distress. What superhero wouldn't break off the fight against a planet destroying super beast to save her from being a dumb ass who decides to "help out" in the thick of the fight? I love you Lois, but when the shit hits the fan, you need to keep your sweet ass at the office.

I wasn't much for Jessica's looks back when she first started working her way onto that A-list back in like 2010 or so. Of course the hair was amazing, but she just looked a little too angular in the face for my tastes. I'm not sure what changed there. Jessica did thicken up just a bit, which may have helped give her face a little roundness. Whatever happened, Jessica went from "meh" to "wow" pretty fast. On the other hand, there's never once been a moment when Amy was anything but blissful for me.

Body

Amy hasn't been quite as forthcoming with her bod as Jessica, although that bathtub scene in BvS got pretty damn close. How the hell they managed to prevent her from showing everything is beyond me. Some kind of CGI pasties thing I'm sure. Fortunately for us, Amy has let some skin pop out from time to time - enough to prove she's just as good as Jessica here. Hey, why don't they do a nude scene together? Maybe a shower scene. This needs to happen.

There are some obscure movies from Jessica's relatively early days on the screen which provide us with a nice overview of how good her bodily assets are sans clothes. I like what I see there. She really needs to do more of those kinds of scenes while she still can. Jessica in a tight dress is fine, but the clock is ticking there for her to really come through with a spectacular nude scene one more time. I can't wait to see that.

Hotness

Amy can be whoever you want her to be. You need a cutie? She's more than capable. She can also be a bitch or the damsel in distress. Whatever you need, she can do it. Yet by far my favorite of her many sides is the sexy side. Something special happens when she's coming on to some lucky guy. Those are also the easiest of Amy portrayals to live vicariously in. I'd give anything to be the guy Amy sexes up in the movie, or even better in real life.

Recent years have seen Jessica really step up her game in this category. Back in the day she struck me more as an actor's actor, focused on the performance and not so much concerned with the "look at me" show off part of her business. Amazing what a little fame and positive attention will do for a hottie's outlook there. Now it seems like the situation has evened out, with just as many sexy Jessica moments as juicy roles. She doesn't have as much of the cute factor Amy enjoys though. Hard to beat cute and hot.

Career

Let me preface this part by saying how much I disagree with all the folderol going around about BATMAN VS SUPERMAN. While not the greatest movie I ever saw, it worked just fine for what it needed to be and is plenty entertaining. It's not fair how much shit it's getting. Although one thing I will say in criticism of it is how underused Amy is as Lois Lane. I understand why this happened. Supes and Batty fighting has gotta take up the lion's share of the screen time. Even with the mega brawl bias, Amy still isn't bad in BvS. Her best moments clearly come from other movies though, with characters of a far more complex nature. In those roles, she's virtually unbeatable.

The Oscars and all the other award shows love Jessica. Both hers and Amy's performances routinely show up in the nominee lists come award season, though neither one has yet to win a bald dude for some strange reason. No matter what the award people say, where true talent and bodies of work are concerned, I don't think a serious front runner can be declared between these two. They're both super capable and talented artists in their field. I got no complaints.

Amy

Both these two are safe bets and I can fully get behind either one, both figuratively and literally. I go with Amy here because, well, because I do. I could have easily tied it up with these two, but if it turns out I'm a little more in Amy's court, I can live with it.

Just one man's opinion. What are your thoughts?

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