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Face Off: Alison Brie vs. Emmy Rossum

06.13.2016by: Droz

No clear winner between Paula Patton and Emmanuelle Chriqui in last week's Face Off. Another occasion when one is just as good a choice as the other.

So we got another Alison Brie comedy coming out this week. They seem to be a dime-a-dozen lately. This new one, NO STRANGER THAN LOVE, comes across as some kind of surreal/quirky/cutesy story of a girl looking for love. Sounds like pretty much every other Alison vehicle that's come out in the last few years. I predict this one will have her looking adorable throughout with at least one scene wherein she wears some kind of provocative attire which doesn't show anything. Ugh, when is someone gonna give Alison good reason to get naked already?!

Alison should be more like Emmy Rossum when it comes to this sort of thing. There's no shortage of clips featuring her perfect body not only in the nude, but engaged in all kinds of simulated TV sex, thanks to her show Shameless. These two could learn a few things from one another. Alison could gain insight from Emmy on the finer points of getting naked on camera. While Emmy might learn from Alison the importance of diversifying her resume of work, seeing as how her show is just about the only place you can see Emmy in anything. Which one of these two would you rather learn about?


Look at this face. What a sweetheart Alison is. So adorable. She can be sultry, or silly, or sometimes even serious when the situation calls for it. But the overriding effect of her looks most of the time is just sweet as candy. The secret are those big, blue eyes like two beautiful pools of lovable, Alison is one of the few hotties out there whose looks can distract me from the rest of her. Which is saying something, as we all know how great the rest of Alison is.

Emmy has the same kinds of capabilities as Alison here, where she can be just about any kind of woman you need her to be. Cute, sexy, nasty, mysterious - we've seen her become all these types over the years. Shes also rocking the big, beautiful eyes. Only hers are the brown doe eye type. This makes them no less powerful though. Quite the contrary, for me anyway. My ultimate weakness is a set of brown eyes like Emmy's.


As I explained in the intro, we have yet to see Alison get completely naked. There have been a few close calls, but nothing definitive. As a result, Alison is right up at the top of the list of hotties we very much want to see show off her bod in full. Until that splendid day comes, I'm sure most Alison fans will take comfort in the frequently seen sight of her legendary proportions. Even if our dreams never come true, there is still goodness to be had with her.

I recently decided that Emmy sets the bar where naked woman on screen are concerned. She's the gold standard bod by which I choose to judge all others. There's not an inch of her that's not how it would be in a perfectly idealized world. Nothing crazy required either. No huge tits or bouncing booty. It's all perfectly proportional to her frame and in just the right amount and shape. She's the perfect porridge. I could just eat her up.


Funny enough, I've heard some people scoff at this one. I'm not sure I understand where they're coming from. Yeah, okay, her magazine spreads are a little overt and blatant sometimes. And yes, her on again, off again sex kitten routine on Community was a little overplayed. None of these things really matter though in the overall sense, because the girl is still hot no matter how forcefully or overtly she goes about proving it.

If you look around the web for examples of what these two get up to as hotties in magazines and red carpets, you'll find them equally matched. Well, except for the whole getting naked part. Also, in Emmy's case, I never get the feeling like she feels the need to make her hotness manifest with quite the same kind of caricature as Alison. Emmy's brand of hotness flows much more naturally as an essential part of who she is. As for which is hotter, they're pretty much two sides of the same coin as far as I'm concerned. No pick for me.


I'm not sure how well these cutesy, flirty, sexually playful little indie movies are working for Alison or those who enjoy her. I guess the ladies might get something out of them. Most guys I know find their Alison frustrations compounded by these bait and switch sex romps. My view is that if these sorts of movies are the thing to keep her relevant in her post Community career, I'm all for them. I don't want to see Alison go away. Anyway, given the choice between seeing her look adorable in a full on set of corsets and garters, or not, I gotta go with the first option.Still, let us continue to endeavor to get Alison naked soon.

I've never been clear on why there are only 3 or 4 noteworthy movies and a TV show marking Emmy's relevance in entertainment. I don't think there's any issue with her being difficult to work with or untalented or in some way undesirable. I can only assume she's just kinda going with the flow. She's a lead on a long-running, celebrated show. And every once in a while she does a movie, if she feels like it. These kinds of laid back career goals may not be very interesting for the fans, but it's a pretty sweet deal for her.


I might get a little frustrated sometimes with how Alison dangles her sexiness in front of us, only to yank it away before we get a good taste of it. But how much worse would it be if there was no Alison at all? Think about that. I'll tell you what though - Emmy is only one big movie nude scene away from bettering Alison here. Let's cross our fingers and hope Emmy lands that kind of gig real soon.

Just one man's opinion. What are your thoughts?


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