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Face Off: Alexandra Daddario vs. Kelly Brook

02.01.2016by: Droz

The group was split on Jessica Alba and Natalie Portman in last week's Face Off. I almost went there too. They've got different strengths in equal measure. In the end I went with Jessica, because much of Natalie's appeal feels like it comes from her past exploits. Jessica, on the other hand, has never ceased to impress.

The problem with putting Alexandra Daddario in a Face Off is her overnight rise up to the top of the hottie ladder. It's a well deserved rise, thanks in large part to her superior array of features. Those features do present a problem, namely making it tough to match her up against anyone. You might find a bigger star than Alexandra, but a star nowhere near as well built. Or there might be a hottie just as well built, but nowhere near as beautiful. To make a Face Off involving Alexandra a fair fight, you gotta break out the heavily hottie artillery, here represented by Kelly Brook - truly one of the heaviest hitters in the current hottie spectrum. All this now begs the question - who do you got in an Alexandra vs. Kelly battle royale?

Beauty

I'm forced to be meaner than I prefer to be with Alexandra on this one. 9 times out of 10 when her face shows up anywhere, it's a moment of pure enchantment. Girl is absolutely gorgeous. Then there's that 10th time, which usually involves her being ridiculously happy. I don't have a problem with happy, but Alexandra's way of expressing her happiness is to bust out with one of her crazed grins, which have a way of countering some of the awe one might otherwise feel for her looks. I truly hate to be critical of anything about Alexandra, but those freaky grins of hers do take me aback sometimes.

Smiling, frowning, laughing, crying, screaming, cussing, smirking, stone-facing - it doesn't matter what kind of face Kelly is making. The woman is always gorgeous. Her sweet face and contagious smile are probably 50% of why I love Kelly as much as I do. Anyone can have huge tits and a sexy body. But if the hottie in question is iffy in the face, to me such a situation feels like building a hot rod and leaving it all rusty and primered. Kelly's beautiful mug is the shine that completes her superior build.

Body

If Alexandra's True Detective strip was the only thing she ever did, it would still be enough to put her on equal footing with Kelly's almost 2 decades of similar strips. This is one of the more impressive things about Alexandra. It says something quite profound about the good things Alexandra brings in this category and how absolutely insane her body is.

Kelly's body has gone through changes in the last 5 years. She started out as something of a curvier alternative to many a bony fashion model. Things later equalized there when several similarly curvy models came to prominence by following her lead. Then Kelly really thickened up, which had her literally popping out all over the place. No matter what form she's taken over the course of her time on the scene, there's never been a time when I wasn't transfixed by her greatness here.

Hotness

One incredible nude scene might be enough to put Alexandra on a mostly equal footing with Kelly for body goodness. She's still got to bow to Kelly on hotness. There's just not enough of Alexandra to go around. Sure, she's got a few movies where she gets down to some hot skin, a few magazine spreads here and there. Those are great for sure. It all pales next to Kelly's overwhelming contributions as a hottie.

I don't need to explain this one in too much depth. You all know what Kelly brings to the table here. And if you don't, just click on her profile in our gallery section to see a few examples of why one might consider her superior in hotness. Me going with Kelly on this one is not a knock against Alexandra. The same would happen with most any woman out there. Being the best hottie she can be has literally been the cornerstone of Kelly's career. I gotta recognize that kind of dedication.

Career

I don't know if Alexandra will ever join the ranks of the very best actresses ever. She only recently managed to escape from her B-movie doldrums and into more significant gigs, thanks in large part to her nude scene boost. However, contrasted against Kelly's track record as an actress, Alexandra's acting skills are good enough to make this a night and day situation.

As an actress, Kelly makes a far better model. Some models can make the transition from modelling into acting. Some can't. Kelly belongs to the latter group. She tries though, and despite her shortcomings, she usually manages to play likable characters - likability which is just a natural aspect of her personality she can't hide. Still, Kelly is never gonna win any acting prizes. Give out an award for all time sexiest model and I'll nominate her easily.

Kelly

We're dealing with two VIH right here, but for me there is no other choice than the one with whom I've enjoyed one of my longest fixations. Kelly will forever be right at the top of my most wanted list. Few have ever come as close as she does to realizing the image I have of my perfect woman.

Just one man's opinion. What are your thoughts?

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