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Face-Off: Christina Hendricks vs. Sofia Vergara

02.01.2012by: JoBlo

Here we go again with another Face Off. The results of last week's Face Off were pretty evenly divided at 9 to 9, with half of you on Angelina Jolie's side and the other half all about Stacy Keibler. Though there were plenty of Angelina fans, it seemed like others choose Stacy by default, thanks to some serious anti-Angie sentiment. Interesting.

No doubt this week's Face Off will elicit a similar conflict between you all as we match up two of the most beautifully bosomed bombshells working today, Sofia Vergara and Christina Hendricks, to find out which hottie racks up the most points in a big-breasted babe brouhaha.

Face

Rather than diving face first into the literal meat of this Face Off, I suppose we should give consideration to the rest of what these ladies have to offer. As far as looks go, Christina has had some ups and downs. In most of her acting roles, like her gig on Mad Men for instance, she looks amazing. However, when left to her own devices, she has a tendency to become rather clownish with her application of make up. I would never call her ugly - perhaps just a bit misguided with the cosmetics.

Sofia has been a knockout, even before most of us up here in the States knew who she was. Her Colombian heritage gives her such a spicy and sultry Latin edge, which has also proven quite a capable fountain of youth for a lady on the cusp of turning 40. Add to that her consistently flawless presentation, both in front of and away from the movie cameras. Still a tough call, though. Sofia wins, but only by a nose.

Curves

Tough one here. This part is basically going to come down to a determination of how curvy you like your ladies. As we all know, Christina's curves are of the supreme voluptuous variety. Some might even go so far as to call her fat. I'm not one of those people, however. What she pulls off in the body department is just fine by me. Not a bag of bones, not something that looks like it washed up on a beach. Just right.

Sofia's curves are somewhat less extreme than Christina's, though certainly not dismissible in anyway. The term "hourglass" is more appropriate to her body. On those parts of a woman's body that are supposed to be flat and trim, Sofia is exceptionally flat and trim. And where things get round and protruding, Sofia is literally about to burst. I'm going to call this one a tie, as I can't bear to pick one over the other.

Their TV Shows

Mad Men has proven itself to be one of those culturally defining moments in TV history. There used to be a time when the airwaves were full of those kinds of programs. That's not the case anymore, what with the rise of vapid reality TV. While Christina is just one part of a much larger cast, her role as Joan Holloway has made an impact off the screen as well. She's pretty much single-handedly made voluptuous sexy again. Can't underscore the significance of that well enough.

Modern Family is no less of an achievement in television. With its real yet hilarious take on 3 different families living their lives in the 21st century, it functions as the latest heir to a great tradition of familial sitcom masterpieces. Also, as with Christina, Sofia is but a part of a much larger, ensemble cast. Sofia hasn't really had as large an impact off the camera though, as far as being a cultural phenomenon goes, anyway. Which is why Christina wins here.

The Boobs

Here's where we separate the men from the boys...or rather the women from the girls. However you want to say it, the question is - who's got the best set? Quite a thing to figure out. Christina is no doubt in possession of one of the finest and most lusted after racks in history. You can besmirch her looks and call her fat all you like, but that still doesn't change the fact that pretty much everybody wants to get at what she's sporting on that chest. If only for curiosity's sake alone, we all want to see those babies unpacked. For that reason, she's got to take the prize here.

It's one of the most erotic things in the world when a woman in as great a shape as Sofia still sports a nice, big set of bewbs. And Sofia certainly has that. Any other time, what she accomplishes in the sweater puppy department would be more than enough to grant her the prize of best breasts. She is unfortunately outdone by the equal helpings of curiosity and lust that attach themselves to Christina's helpings of breast material like a starving child in need of nourishment.

Christina

One might be tempted to call the winner of this Face Off a given, but I actually found it quite difficult to chose between the two. While both are in possession of some mind-boggling mammaries, they are in most other respects quite different. From their looks, to their body styles, and even their TV shows, they have their own style and their own way of being the beauties that they are.

In the end, a sense of universal curiosity about what Christina has on display pretty much all the time, gives her the edge she needs to win. I don't know if that makes her the very best hottie of the two, but it at least proves she's got something most people want and are perhaps even desperate to see. Sounds like a pretty good benchmark of superiority to me.

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Tags: Face-Off

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