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Face-Off: Angelina Jolie vs. Stacy Keibler

01.27.2012by: Droz

Welcome back to the Face Off! Last week we pitted two of the hottest vampire babes against one another, with the result being a fairly even division between the two. In the end, Jessica from True Blood narrowly edged out Selene from the UNDERWORLD movies by one point, earning 8 votes to Selene's 7 . This week, we get back to reality a bit and compare a couple of world class female hotties, who also happen to be in relationships with a couple of world class male hotties.

We all know that, much like their OCEAN'S 11 counter parts, Brad Pitt and George Clooney have a solid bromance, with jaunts to each others' villas a regular occurrence. But how do their squeezes Angelina Jolie and Stacy Keibler compare? Sure Brad and George are best bros, but there's nothing stopping us from pitting their women in a battle for superiority. So which one will come out on top? Let's find out.


With those incredibly piercing eyes and full lips, Angelina has always had quite a mug on her. Her face has gone through stages in that time, going from a sweet-cheeked baby face in the beginning, to a severe kind of sleekness that accompanies her sometimes severe weight fluctuations. Through it all, she somehow maintains the essence of what has made her one of the most celebrated beauties in Hollywood history.

Stacy is quite a contender for the beautiful visage prize as well. Bearing a sweet countenance in that big happy face of hers, she draws you in with a happy demeanor radiated by her charming doe eyes. While her opponent broods and scowls at the camera, Stacy has always got a big, broad smile.

Still, as a fan of Angelina's more exotic features, I have to give the prize to her. Though Stacy is nothing to sneeze at here.


Angelina Jolie has been showing off her goods in the bewbage department pretty much since she was legally allowed to. In that time, we've had ample opportunity to freeze frame and properly examine them. The verdict? Uhhh, awesome! No question there. She's got a gorgeous set of teardrop bewbs that sit just about perfect. Not too big, not too small. Goldilocks time.

Sure, it's been a while since she displayed them, and in that time she has squeezed out a few kids. Got to imagine she's looked after her girls though, considering how they're a big part of her career and all. Overall, high marks here.

Nothing to smirk at in Stacy's bewbage either. Unfortunately hers are not quite as available as Angelina's in terms of being on complete display. She's also got a somewhat smaller cup, which makes sense with that athletic body of hers. I wont get too critical of size here, as overall quality is what we're trying to get at.

When it comes down to it, I got to give the prize to the one who has actually put them out there. Stacy has yet to do that, so thus gets the runner up prize here.


Angelina has gone through a few iterations in the body department. During the late 90s when her career was just beginning, Angie sported quite a terrific frame with some modestly curvaceous proportions all around. That trend continued right up into her Lara Croft days. Then, somewhere around the MR. & MRS. SMITH period in her career, she started to shrink considerably. By the time of WANTED in 2008, she was borderline emaciated.

Angelina has stayed pretty slim since that point, which may or may not be an issue for you. I don't consider her unattractive, though that being said, I do still long for her more full-bodied days.

Perusing some of the photos returned in on your basic Google Image Search results, you'll no doubt agree that Stacy is rocking probably one of the hottest bodies in the world. Not an ounce out of place on her at all, superbly athletic, and bearing an ass that deserves to be framed and hailed as fine art. Female bodies simply don't get much better than Stacy's.


Angelina started out her career doing roles revolving around unsettled youths, which quite accurately mirrored the nature of her life. She was the poster child for the pissed off and troubled young girl mentality, acting out against the world. Since then she has settled down a bit, with domesticated life resolving much of the angst of her earlier youth. She maintains a moody vibe about her though. While perhaps not a terrible person, she still seems rather high maintenance to me.

Stacy has always put out a positive and friendly attitude. Even when she's battling someone in a wrestling ring, carrying on with her various antagonistic antics, she's still got something sweet and inviting about her. Sure, she might not be as deep or intense as Angie, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. She's the kind of girl you could have a beer with and just hang out and have a lot of fun without any drama. That's my kind of woman.


Angelina has achieved quite a lot in a relatively short amount of time. For some, becoming certified Hollywood royalty is something it might take decades to accomplish. Angelina made that happen in under a decade. Some might say her royal status was due more to her high profile marriage than anything else, but Angie was standing on her own long before that. With an Oscar and 3 Golden Globes, she's certainly proven she has the chops in her field.

Stacy's got some formidable competition here. Angelina will probably go down as one of the most celebrated Hollywood hotties in history. That's a tough thing to compete with. Stacy's career as a model and a wrestling star is no doubt a more noteworthy success than what most people can lay claim to. Still, she's got nothing on Angie's success.


Angelina Jolie has a pretty clear advantage here in many ways. Being the huge celebrity and legendary Hollywood hottie that she is, there aren't many who can compete with her. Stacy does give her a run for her money in many ways, however. Given the no doubt enviable position of having to choose between the two, I think most would have quite a dilemma on their hands. Angelina wins, essentially by the virtue of her career choices, which consist both of Oscar winning performances and super hot, full frontal nude scene goodness. Really only one way to go there.

Tags: Face-Off


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