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Celebrate the iHeart Radio Music Festival with Ashley Tisdale and her side boob

09.22.2015by: No Cool Handle

Victoria's Secret's royalty Adriana Lima walked the red carpet at the Marc Jacobs Spring 2015 fashion show with a curious juxtaposition of formal and informal -- oh yeah, and you can pretty much see through the top of her dress. This girl must of had some kind of tenure agreement in her contract; she hasn't gone anywhere and it doesn't look like she will any time soon. Last year she was the second top earning model with $8 million...Yup, 8 million, and it's easy to see why. The age resilient Brazilian babe (say that three times fast) still has it. Not many can show up wearing a formal dress with red sneakers, but when you're rich and beautiful people expect those kind of eccentricities. The only thing I'm not sure about is why it looks like she used a boxers corner cut man to do her makeup instead of an actual makeup artist. Either she's extremely sweaty or someone greased her entire face with Vaseline. Maybe it's just some age defying oil that cost $700 an ounce; she can afford it.

It's always much easier to come up with scenarios in which all the stars align in your favor and you actually have a shot at obtaining carnal knowledge of a lady like Ashley Tisdale. She's right in that sweet spot of very attractive yet not unobtainable. This gives these kind of sexy babes a certain humility; so when they actually say things like a sense of humor and chemistry is much more important than looks, money or stature, you can believe them. Now I could be wrong. She did grow up as one of those Disney child stars, and there's a part of her that resembles the kind of tweens who actually buy her music. But let's face it, most of this is conjecture anyway, and I'm going to come down on the side of the fence that makes it much easier to imagine a foundation for my fantasies that better accommodates my solo agenda. Once that's out of the way, I can look at these photos of her attending the iHeart Radio Music Festival -- without the oppressive inanimate object that is the bra -- and begin to orchestrate my chance meeting of her the results in much canoodling


Source: Lazy Girls


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