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BOTB Thanksgiving: Colette vs Mrs Lovett vs Swedish Chef

11.24.2016by: Cherry Liquor

Inevitably, people will misunderstand this week's Battle of the Babes. For the past 8 years I've been posting this column on Thursdays and for each of those Thanksgiving Thursdays, I've had a battle of the dudes, beginning with 3 of the men from when the first Abrams STAR TREK hadn't yet hit screens. But this year, since shit seems to have slid sideways for a lot of people in 2016, I figured we'd go with 3 of my favorite chef characters and let you decide which one you would want to cook dinner for you on turkey day. I betcha most people don't even pay attention to that directive, but eh... at least you all agreed with me last week and found Katheryn Winnick to be the hottest fantasy babe, with Emma Watson still digging for second and Felicity Jones with a respectable third. (And so that no one freaks, the fan art used here is from Oddmachine, LisaMarie and Sekhmet17 respectively.)


I imagine that if you're into fancy, upscale food with a little bit of that fresh French snobbery on the side, you're going to be pleasantly happy with Colette. The fact that she's kinda an animated babe and voiced by real flesh and blood babe, Janeane Garofalo is just icing on the cake. Or petit fours. Or whatever you fussy people like to fawn over.

Mrs Lovett

If you're a meat and potatoes and human flesh kinda person, Mrs Lovett is your gal. She'll pine for you with all of the love in her twisted, black little heart all while singing a pretty tune and cooking up whatever fresh humanable she has on hand for the evening, turning the event into a really sick version of Chopped. I really do love me some Chopped. And some Helena Bonham Carter.

Swedish Chef

Swedish Chef no bork air rund wid da birdy-wurdy in da pot. Wen you reddy reddy ahnt da bistest borking bork bork torkee en da worl, nare iz no borking eff who bork da torkee moar yum yum. (Den agen, me ite dis wen me do da smoke smoke so ehhhhhhhh....)

Which fictional chef would you most want making your Thanksgiving feast: Colette, Mrs Lovett or Swedish Chef?

Source: IMDB


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