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BOTB Hanks' Hotties: Audrey Tautou vs Ayelet Zurer vs Felicity Jones

10.27.2016by: Cherry Liquor

If you guessed that Cobie Smulders had the power to take down Wonder Woman's Gal Gadot in a battle of babes, give yourself a cookie. Cobie bested her competition by a good margin last week, even if her new movie didn't have the same muscle to best Madea at the box office. This week we have some slim pickings when it comes to new releases, with mainly the too many years too late revisiting of the Dan Brown Illuminati conspiracy nonsense in INFERNO. Luckily, he's been running alongside some rather attractive ladies in these movies, so I figured we could focus on them instead.

Audrey Tautou

Most people are going to remember Tautou as the inspiration for everything Zooey Deschanel lives for in her title role of AMELIE, but she really has that smoldering brunette French chick thing going on. (I prefer to remember her rough but engaging role in DIRTY PRETTY THINGS instead because I kinda like dark, depressing shit over frilly surreality.) Audrey seemed wildly out of place as Tom's sidekick in THE DA VINCI CODE, as if she were a spooked animal looking for a means of escape throughout the entire thing, which was not particularly attractive. However, go google yourself some Audrey Tautou and you'll find that she takes a picture just as beautifully as a high paid model and exudes a level of seduction like only a French woman can.

Ayelet Zurer

For those fanboys out there, Ayelet is either Superman's birth mama or Fisk's sweetie, with very few people remembering that she once made time with Hanks in the second movie based on Brown's series. She's definitely more of a standout in the comic book adaptation world, having that edgy exotic look (Zurer is Israeli) and accent that purrs as smoothly as a foreign luxury car, which might also be what makes her so hard to hire in generic acting roles, meaning we see her far more infrequently than others. I figured this series of movies was done after #2 because let's face it, Ayelet is a closer of a woman. Just as Fisk.

Felicity Jones

Now, with INFERNO upon us, we're getting the treat of seeing adorable Felicity Jones at his side, something that people really seem keen for, considering that she's been all over the place since her Oscar nomination for THE THEORY OF EVERYTHING. Between COLLIDE, A MONSTER CALLS, INFERNO and ROGUE ONE, 2016 is pretty much Jones' year to do whatever the hell she wants. If only the Americans hadn't given her a complex regarding her teeth - you'll notice her smiling openly far less lately at events because she seems to be shy about that lovely little overbite. Personally, I would love her to nibble on me with those charming little chompers.

Which of Tom Hanks' conspiracy theory babes would you most like to go on the run with: Audrey, Ayelet or Felicity?

Source: IMDB

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