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BOTB Biblical Babes: Jennifer Connelly vs Michelle Pfeiffer vs Monica Bellucci

02.18.2016by: Cherry Liquor

Last weekend ZOOLANDER 2 did lackluster business at the box office and the Battle of the Babes inspired by the movie seemed to move about the same numbers. For some reason I thought you would be more interested in telling me which hot model was your favorite but only 8 people responded on the site (more were complimentary toward Charlotte McKinney over on the Facebook page) and it was a mixed bag of responses at that, with no clear favorite. This week we have a paltry offering of new releases to draw from so I'm going with the one genre that I have no interest in actually watching - biblical - based on RISEN, which is sure to draw money because of congregations sending their parishioners out to see it in droves.

Jennifer Connelly

From what I understand, NOAH was a decent movie. I like Russell Crowe (as an actor, he seems like a bit of twat when he's not being paid to perform) and Jennifer Connelly, despite being far too thin and depressed looking in recent years is still a solid actress. But I can't bring myself to watch it because I just can't buy the 2 of every animal on a giant arc angle unless Morgan Freeman is playing the man upstairs. And even then it's a stretch.

Michelle Pfeiffer

Out of all three movies, this is the only one I've actually watched and I'm not sure how much it counts as it's an animated movie. Starring the elder Fiennes brother and Val Kilmer, who I am hard pressed to ignore even after his physical deterioration in recent years, PRINCE OF EGYPT happened to also have Michelle Pfeiffer as a voice character. And since I definitely can't pass up that white gold, here she is in the mix.

Monica Bellucci

I have so few plans to ever watch THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST that I'd forgotten entirely that Monica Bellucci was a member of the cast. I don't know if it was a big role or an important role or if she was even vaguely hot in it. I just know that out of all the options for me to use from biblical flicks, she fits best in the mix here. And if she'd been the one half naked, getting whipped the film would have made even more bank.

Which biblical babe would you most want to worship: Jennifer, Michelle or Monica?

Source: IMDB

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