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BOTB Bad Moms: Heather Graham vs Kim Basinger vs Lena Headey

07.28.2016by: Cherry Liquor

Although one commenter said there was no wrong answer to last week's Battle of the Babes, it seems as if Zoe Saldana was it, considering that she didn't get a vote in the match-up of STAR TREK babes, where Alice Eve and Rachel Nichols triumphed (although Rachel triumphed a little bit harder). I thought I would try to steer completely away from BAD MOMS because there's too much dumping on parents in general lately and frankly, even with a great cast the movie looks stupid as shit. But there are three bad moms from TV and movies that I actually kinda love, so I thought we might just trot down this well-worn path just this once.

Heather Graham

What most people tend to overlook when they think of THE HANGOVER is the fact that that cute baby Galifianakis totes around on his man-child chest belongs to a stripper named Jade. Jade gets married to one of these drunken doofuses and leaves her still nursing child with them (because they had to get in the visual "joke" of Graham baring one of those beautiful breasts). She's a sweet thing who means no harm but it terms of maternal instinct, she really should face criminal charges. Still, breastfeeding joke! Oh so funny!

Kim Basinger

People have largely ignored Kim Basinger's career post the turn century, perhaps because she was getting older, perhaps because her personal life kept blowing up in the tabloids. Whatever the case, it's a sad state of affairs, considering that she's only gotten better as an actress, in some cases turning out performances so flawlessly, you overlook that she's acting. In 8 MILE, the movie that fictionalized Eminem's real life, Kim is awesome as a whiny, needy, f*cked up mother who bones her son's former classmate while her youngest child pretends to cover her ears. It's horrific when you consider just how commonplace this type of behavior is out in the world.

Lena Headey

If we're going to get into really shitty mothers, let's start to talk about Cersei Lannister, shall we? I don't even need to be caught up all the way on the show to recognize an opportunistic nutjob (she's been having kids with her brother, isn't that enough?) and while I will accept that there are those who will defend her, how about you also factor in that Lena has been John Connor's mom in spectacularly messy fashion or even Ma-Ma if you want to consider her the most vile maternal figure ever in DREDD. Lena is pretty much the queen of bad & badass mothers.

Which bad mom do you want to do naughty things with: Heather, Kim or Lena?

Source: IMDB

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7:28PM on 07/30/2016
Lena first, Kim was hot as hell in the 90's, and Heather is very hot but seems off a bit...
Lena first, Kim was hot as hell in the 90's, and Heather is very hot but seems off a bit...
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5:41PM on 07/28/2016

Lena?

HAHAHAHA, no thanks. I will pass on that one.
HAHAHAHA, no thanks. I will pass on that one.
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10:47AM on 07/28/2016

Kim Basinger's Beauty is Timeless

At 60 years old, Kim Basinger is still attractive (with a little help from her friendly medical professionals), and has a charm that many women half her age would do go to emulate. As for Lena Heady, I remember her in her earlier films and how alluring she was...which makes it very difficult to see her tattered-up body today. What a waste!
At 60 years old, Kim Basinger is still attractive (with a little help from her friendly medical professionals), and has a charm that many women half her age would do go to emulate. As for Lena Heady, I remember her in her earlier films and how alluring she was...which makes it very difficult to see her tattered-up body today. What a waste!
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9:43AM on 07/28/2016

Tie

It's a threeway tie.
It's a threeway tie.
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9:12AM on 07/28/2016

Lena.

Heather in 2nd. I'm not into Kim.
Heather in 2nd. I'm not into Kim.
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7:37AM on 07/28/2016
Heather, over Lena by a hair
Heather, over Lena by a hair
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5:30AM on 07/28/2016

Impressive

Those pygmentation treatments the Zoe Saldana had been getting are really working. Wow.

When I saw the headline, I was hoping it was Lauren Graham, not Heather Graham. Don't get me wrong, Heather is hot as hell, but Lauren is the dream wife.
Those pygmentation treatments the Zoe Saldana had been getting are really working. Wow.

When I saw the headline, I was hoping it was Lauren Graham, not Heather Graham. Don't get me wrong, Heather is hot as hell, but Lauren is the dream wife.
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5:05AM on 07/28/2016

Graham

Heather seems to have been lost into obscurity, but she's still pretty hot.
Heather seems to have been lost into obscurity, but she's still pretty hot.
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4:03AM on 07/28/2016

Heather Graham

You should probably edit that Zoe Saldana/Lena Headey typo
You should probably edit that Zoe Saldana/Lena Headey typo
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