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Body Shop: Megan Fox

04.14.2008by: Mr. Pink

I've always found it ridiculous when people talk about someone being "too good-looking". I mean, c'mon. But then this week's hottie hit the scene, and I think I finally got it. 'Cause her substantial beauty has a quality that is distinctly creepy. So for showing that hotness can burn too bright, let's turn our lens to: MEGAN FOX!

Check her out in - Jennifer's Body

ASS (8/10):

Tasty, tasty, tasty. Especially for a skinny chick. Fox's booty looks a bit more enticing in pictures then it naturally should because she's a super-pro at the butt jut. Still, even though a relaxed silhouette would show that the top portion is significantly flatter than her rounded inverted slopes, there's no reason to quibble about details here. Fine haunches are definitely a strength in this lass' toolbox of hotness.

BOOBIES (6/10):

Surprisingly, Megan's twins appear to be all that, but lack the bag of chips. A number of magazine spreads have ambitiously given ample lift to this lady's fine chest. But when observed in their unleavened state, these shirt stretchers act like an Easy Bake oven - promising a much more delicious treat than they can deliver.

FACE (8/10):

Nearly flawless, but also apparently soulless beauty. Something akin to an anime robot with a little Edward James Olmos mixed in (we see you pockmarks!) I can't argue with anyone who thinks she should be rated higher here, but for me it's like trying to rate the hottest robot in the world. There's about as much going on behind those eyes as you see with Laura Bush. I smell an invasion force coming.

PERSONALITY (4/10):

Megs comes across as exactly what she looks like - a bitchy, prima donna pain in the azz. Young beauty gives you that loan if you care to cash it, but the interest is a killer (or lack thereof as the years go by). And don't bother acting like her tattoos are some indication that she's deeper than the average flavor of the week or that it shows she eschews beauty. It's just her meaningless and immature f*ck you to a world that will do anything she wants anyway as long as she's this young and bangin'.

CAREER (5/10):

Before you guys read me the riot act, I thought Transformers was largely a splashy missed opportunity, but nevertheless it was a highlight for MF's fledgling movie career. Overall she's been a remarkably pretty face in product mostly notable for its mediocrity. Still, she's managed to land a plumb role in Diablo Cody's next project, so while her current CV should rate even lower, her future prospects look bright. Thus I'm splitting the difference.

High points: TRANSFORMERS
Low points: ANYTHING ELSE

OVERALL (6/10):

Man I'm gonna catch hell for this I can tell. But when you add everything up - from the absent star power, to the apparent vacuum between her ears, and add in that her hotness, while undeniable, is outright creepy - sorry but I gotta call a spade a spade. There's certainly plenty of room for potential improvement in the Fox bottom line, but if I thought she was likely to go the distance I'd give her the benefit of the doubt. As you can see, I don't.

Source: MovieHotties
Tags: megan fox

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