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Body Shop: Kim Kardashian

11.07.2011by: Mr. Pink

Well, been waiting to BS this chick for quite awhile, and she just happened to land a role around the time of her murder-suicide with the covenant of marriage. So the timing is a win-win for me. I know ahead of time there will be massive disagreements about today's article, but from my perspective, this chick is a complete certified hottie. She also appears to lack a soul. So does her being a black hole of suck preclude us from wanting to bang the sh!t out of: KIM KARDASHIAN!

Check her out in - The Marriage Counselor

ASS (10/10):

Can a butt be too big? Sure. This, however, is not the one that qualifies. Seeing a nice, round, Sir Mix-A-Lot inspired booty like this overtakes my common sense and common decency on just about all levels. Kim's got my second favorite celebrity butt behind Vida Guerra.

BOOBIES (8/10):

I hear the f word being thrown around by those who don't care for KimmyK, but she's usually in pretty good shape. And that shape includes a pair of tits that attached to any other body would inspire universal lust. They may not be the best around, but they sure as hell look nice enough to get anyone through a long night. I don't see any way to consider them something less than a superlative example of chest flesh.

FACE (8/10):

Quite a lovely mixture of exotic and girl next door playing out on this kisser. Sure she wears too much makeup, but that only becomes more clear when you see some of her au naturel looks that show she has a very pretty face without help. I know she has detractors, but from a purely physical perspective, I just don't see why.

PERSONALITY (3/10):

And here's where the whole beautiful temple thing comes crashing down. As with many reality stars, KK largely exists at the whims of her public. She appears to be little more than an empty vessel bound to the desires of her adoring fans. Even their hatred fuels her celebrity by virtue of celebrity. It's a vicious cycle that seems to extinguish any possibility of her development as a real person. Oh, and talking about how you helped Reggie Bush focus for his SuperBowl season with the New Orleans Saints didn't do you any favors in my eyes either you overreaching, self-entitled princess.

CAREER (4/10):

I still can't quite figure out how someone who has never done anything managed to build an entertainment empire. She is her own brand and sells it well. It's an annoying, vacuous, characterless brand, but it sells baby. It sells. So while I'd love to give her no credit here, I have to give some points for her seeming ability to make fame and money appear out of thin air.

High points: N/A
Low points: KIM K SUPERSTAR (THE SEX TAPE), DISASTER MOVIE

OVERALL (8/10):

Kim Kardashian has an epically bangin' body in my opinion. So much so that anytime I look at her pics I just want to jump head first into her. At the same time she is one of the most unfortunate human beings working the celebrity circuit today. So do I feel good about the overall rating here. No. I feel like a bad person for being so turned on by her. But I'm not gonna pretend like she's not a huge fantasy lay. Even if I'd wanna shoot myself afterward.

Source: MovieHotties

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