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Body Shop: Jessica Biel

03.16.2009by: Mr. Pink

This week's hotness is provided by a woman so banging that she was able to play a live version of Jessica Rabbit and pull it off. Truth be told I'm a little surprised it's taken me this long to get around to her. Without further ado I give you: JESSICA BIEL!

Check her out in - Planet 51

ASS (10/10):

There are certainly clearer pics of Biel's butt, however I just love this one soooo much. The funny thing is that it is one of the least flattering looks at her heinie that you'll find. Which is a strong example of the awesomeness her booty wields. Well shaped and in shape is definitely a good way to go through life.

BOOBIES (10/10):

I admit I wasn't planning on rating these Timberlake toys quite so high, but the more I looked (it's a tough job sometimes) the more I realized I was at a loss to find any flaw. And since the lack of flaws indicates perfection, that's what we're looking at. Sweet sassafras I may well spend the next hour just looking through pics like this (NSFW).

FACE (7/10):

It's funny to me that Jessica got her main start on 7th Heaven, since her look is decidedly rough and dirty. She may have the body of an angel, but she's got the face of a pornstar. I know some have complained about her manish features, but I dig her look. Not enough to give her the highest marks because I'm a professional, but there's quite a lot to like about her Fergie mixed with a tranny visage.

PERSONALITY (8/10):

As long as she's been around, I have no good handle on JB's outlook. What I do know is that she's a former vegetarian which is a state that I have immense respect for. And she won a karaoke contest once. I love me some karaoke. Plus I don't have to count her relationship with Justin Timberlake against her since he did DICK IN A BOX.

CAREER (6/10):

Jess definitely has presence on screen, and her name is a draw for sure, but it's hard to give her much credit for the big screen projects she's done when you look at her CV minus the hype. There are a few standouts, but overall it's fair to middling projects that the world would be better off without. I really don't think she's even shown that her chops are particularly strong yet. Pretty meh.

High points: THE RULES OF ATTRACTION, THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, THE ILLUSIONIST
Low points: BLADE: TRINITY, STEALTH, NEXT

OVERALL (9/10):

Jessica Biel is one of those seismic hotties that hardly even require being in good movies to stay on the A-list. If she does add a solid career to her overwhelming brand of sweet deliciousness it would almost be unfair. In the interest of not causing a majority of the male populace to explode, here's hoping she just keeps doing her thing is the same manner she's taken it so far.

Source: MovieHotties
Tags: jessica biel

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