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Body Shop: Hilary Swank

08.11.2008by: Mr. Pink

It's gotta be tough when your first career defining role is as a boy - at least if you're a girl. Then again, the pretty/ugly transformation path to Oscar gold is well known and well worn, so perhaps the trade off is righteous if you know you've got the goods to "redefine" yourself as you see fit. And this week's lady has certainly done that. You already know I'm talking about: HILARY SWANK!

Check her out in - Amelia

ASS (7/10):

Swank's booty has never struck me as one of her finer attributes given that it often comes across as broad-ish, flat-ish, and even downright dumpy in some cases. At the same time, the pic below is one of the most outstanding views of a female backside perhaps in the history of man. So while it doesn't look like that all the time, the mere fact that her spanker can find a way to shine that strongly earns it some extra juice in the ratings.

BOOBIES (8/10):

Just f*cking lovely. This is a great example of why men love women's breasts so much. Soft, buoyant, well-formed, strong presence, but not frighteningly large or fake. These twin yummies pretty much went on a national tour after Boys Don't Cry so that Hilary could show she was all woman. Prove it she did, and thank goodness for that.

FACE (5/10):

Prettiest horse face I've ever seen. I gotta split this right down the middle, because it's a true half and half here. Swanker has definite elements to her visage that are delicate and fetching. And those elements are paired with teeth that are a good two sizes too large for her mouth and a manish bone structure that depending on the lighting and angle could leaving you feeling very hot, or downright bothered.


HilS seems to have a good head on her shoulders and a generally affable demeanor. I've got a lot of respect for her overall, but do have to take issue with her outing ex-hubby's substance abuse issues. Like it isn't hard enough already to be the other Lowe. Still, I don't think it was the cynical publicity grab that some have accused her of, so we'll only ding her a little for her insensitivity/bad judgment.

CAREER (9/10):

I freely admit there isn't a lot she's done that knocks me out (ha, ah...get it), but how do you grade anybody who is two for two in the Oscar race as anything but perfect or just short. Sure she's had some clunkers, and there's more than one performance she's given that is plain awkward, but supposedly her peers are the experts at this so I'm deferring to their judgment. It doesn't mean I like it though.


OVERALL (7/10):

There is seriously a lot to like about Hilary Swank, but I can't help the fact that anytime I think about being with her I have this image of her braying like a mule that leaps to mind. Maybe it's just me. I certainly can't put that on her I don't suppose, but this is a case where it seems that most of the individual elements don't add up as strongly as they should.

Source: MovieHotties
Tags: Hilary Swank


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