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Body Shop: Helena Bonham Carter

07.28.2008by: Mr. Pink
100%

Some chicas just got a crazy vibe, and how you feel about them has a lot less to do with physical attributes then it does your attraction or repulsion to the type. This week's hottie has worked us over in everything from corsets to a Corpse Bride. So if you're up for it, grab some rubber yellow gloves and a toilet scrubber to get down with: HELENA BONHAM CARTER!

Check her out in - Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince

ASS (6/10):

You're definitely doing alright if your girl has a booty like this, but it's not going to cause your friends to plot nefarious schemes to steal her away from you. In fact this is the type of keister that you've probably actually had a chance to fondle a time or two, which all things considered isn't so bad.

BOOBIES (4/10):

Sadly, as good as HBC is at packaging her goodies, it's still an inferior product. The overall look is akin to a change purse about a 1/4 full of sand. The good news is they have plumped up a bit through motherhood so maybe that small improvement will stay with her.

FACE (7/10):

It's weird how this Ms. is kinda beautiful and kinda ugly all at the same time. Ultimately it's immaterial, because the typical physical judgments hardly apply. Either you look into those eyes and wish you were the smoke drifting out of her mouth, or you'd rather eat her cigarette than kiss those lips. To f*ck or not to f*ck, that is the question.

PERSONALITY (8/10):

I'm a sucker for freaky chickadees, especially the smart well-spoken ones. And that is just what Mt. St. Helena seems to be. Now admittedly, dating and having Tim Burton's spawn is potentially a sign that instead of freaky and fun you're getting psycho and scary with this one, but hell, figuring that part out is half the fun with a crazy lady.

CAREER (8/10):

I guess some folks feel like Bonham Carter hasn't lived up to her potential of late, but I have to say that looking over her filmography it's hard to find much to dislike. I personally enjoyed the Planet of the Apes remake (until the stupid ending), and just about everything she's been in has found improvement through her presence. As a matter of fact, the only reason that I'm holding her back a tick is that her most recent projects have lacked the variety I think we'd all like to see her explore. But that's basically splitting hairs.

High points: THE WINGS OF THE DOVE, FIGHT CLUB, SWEENEY TODD: THE DEMON BARBER OF FLEET STREET
Low points: WOMEN TALKING DIRTY

OVERALL (7/10):

Basically HBC as an actress is definitely tops, but as to hotness, she's more of a drunken one night stand than a relationship. Not that there's anything wrong with that, and there's no doubt she makes me feel funny in my pants. But the cold light of day just doesn't allow me to give her top tier credit.

Source: MovieHotties

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11:05AM on 07/28/2008
She's the freaky girl that every guy in high school makes fun of but secretly wants to be with.
She's the freaky girl that every guy in high school makes fun of but secretly wants to be with.
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12:05PM on 07/28/2008

Hot!

Even when she was playing an ape and wearing all the prosthetics and make-up in "Planet of the Apes", I still thought she was the sexiest in the movie.
Even when she was playing an ape and wearing all the prosthetics and make-up in "Planet of the Apes", I still thought she was the sexiest in the movie.
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12:37PM on 07/28/2008
Definitely a hottie!
Definitely a hottie!
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3:04PM on 07/28/2008
there is no rhyme or reason to this girl. no matter what she looks like in film or whatever, i can never hate on her.
there is no rhyme or reason to this girl. no matter what she looks like in film or whatever, i can never hate on her.
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11:05PM on 07/28/2008

Hot.

Or maybe not. Why can't I figure this out?
Or maybe not. Why can't I figure this out?
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