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Body Shop: Famke Janssen

07.30.2007by: Mr. Pink

Hollywood pundits have taken great joy in the last decade both in feigning concern for starlets who appear too thin, while also deriding every "hot" actress who dares step outside with an ounce of jiggle. Hypocrisy of that fair city aside, there's a difference between thin as in eat a burger, a raisin, a Jolly Rancher, anything for goodness sake! and Wow, I think she just came back from kicking tiger ass in bare handed combat. I.E. healthy vs. not healthy. Need an example? Well you know I'm gonna give it to you: FAMKE JANSSEN!

Check her out in - 100 Feet

ASS (8/10):

Punch me in the mouth mamma, 'cause I'm drooling. Typically I'm a fan of more junk in the trunk, but when you see a tightly muscled backside on a lean, lithe, predatory body like Famke's it is a wonder to behold. I'm a little scared of it, but damn that darkside satellite is fine!

BOOBIES (5/10):

Pretty much non-existant, but that's nature. A big set of fake ones would just look weird on the elegant Ms. Janssen's frame. And natural sizes don't come much bigger on a body like hers. Sure they're not what we focus on, but they fit. And if she gets pregnant someday we might see a 7 Wonders Of The World type of result.

FACE (8/10):

Great googly moogly. Seductive? Check. Enchanting? Check. Understanding? Check. Boner? Check. It's rare to see a face that could easily range from the one hot junkie chick your pusher has in his stable, to your best friend's mom who you feverishly imagine cooks in the bedroom just as well as she cooks them brownies. Delicious.


Any chick that looks like she'd be fun to have a beer with immediately goes off the charts in my estimation. You get the feeling that if you were hanging out with FKJans that she'd be so cool you'd almost forget how devestatingly hot she is - almost. Oh, one other thing. She studied writing and literature at Columbia University. Yep, smart, too. It hardly seems fair.

CAREER (7/10):

The transition from modeling to movies is usually a painful one at best. Establishing yourself as a Bond girl isn't a bad start. Especially when it's a character who likes to f*ck peeps to death. Then just keep turning heads in various fun projects, take a small role in poker classic ROUNDERS, and eventually snag yourself the plumb role of head geek fantasy Jean Grey in the X-MEN franchise. A good solid road, and one that eventually culminates in the ultimate - starring in horror master Eric Red's new masterpiece 100 FEET and sharing screen time with slick daddy extraordinaire John Fallon aka The Arrow!


OVERALL (8/10):

Heck, there's not much left to say. Chica rocks the casbah hard! They say that you can tell a lot about a man by the celebrity crushes he carries. That seems like a stretch to me since we're all basically just a bunch of horny mongrels, but I can tell you one thing. If I found out that somebody wasn't into Famke Janssen, well I just don't think we'd have much to say to each other.


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