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Body Shop: Alyssa Milano

10.01.2007by: Mr. Pink

Fuck the Olsen Twins and all their ilk. You wanna talk about the chica who started the whole "please let her turn 18 soon so the thoughts I'm having about her aren't illegal" thing? Then look no further than this tight bodied fictional spawn of Tony Danza. Gentlemen, give a big wassssuuuup to: ALYSSA MILANO!

Check her out in - Pathology

ASS (8/10):

Curvy, cuppable and just plain loveable. Milano's booty isn't stratospherically awesome, but it is the kind of seat cushion that you could comfortably enjoy for the rest of your natural life.

BOOBIES (8/10):

Yum, yum, yum, and let me say again - Yum! These fantasy islands may not have giant size going for them, but the shape, the lift, the heft, and the gosh darn hypnotizing loveliness of them more than makes up. Especially given Alyssa's athletic tone, it's a wonder and a pleasure to see these Rooty Tooty Fresh 'n Fruity's on her plate. And while it's no particular challenge to find them FreeBirding around the internet, ya'll know I wouldn't make you work that hard! (NSFW).

FACE (8/10):

I have to plead conflict of interest here, because while the imperfect and over thick skin she's got from too much sun exposure should have AMil in the 7 range, I can't help but kick her up a notch. You see, the hottest chick I've ever personally known looked like the lovechild of Milasano and Elle MacPherson. A heady mixture you must admit, and one that I am too enchanted by to rate with any sense of objectivity.


What happens when a legit hottie has a self-deprecating sense of humor? I'll tell you what. Hearts and boners the world over take notice. There are plenty of optimally gorgeous, ultimately boring Kleenex substitutes in the world, but a chica who excites the brain and the balls? That's rare and deserves to be cherished.

CAREER (6/10):

Not very good news here. Alys has found limited post-Who's The Boss success on the big screen. Her best work so far has been TV's Charmed, and the most memorable feature she's appeared in was a softcore vampire flick (NSFW) that explored all the physical aspects that fans of hers wanted explored. The right role could still catapult her to legit stardom though, because outside of a banging body, this is a lassie with real talent


OVERALL (7/10):

What can I say? This is MOVIEHotties, not Random Hotties. If AList had managed even one decently notable film role then she could pull an 8, but she hasn't. The talent is there, but maybe the body is too hot and lusted after right now to give her a real chance at a decent role. Maybe not, I could just be making excuses, but I think she's more than just that smile and those tasty ta-ta's. Even though there's no evidence of that on celluloid just yet.

Source: MovieHotties


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