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Battle of the Babes: CA Queen Alison Brie vs NY Queen Scarlett Johansson vs TX Queen Jennifer Love Hewitt

07.11.2013by: Cherry Liquor

I'm from California, but I don't know if I can back the winner of the Queen of Cali Battle which we held back some weeks ago. Should I go with my inner East Coast Girl and stick with the classic Scarlett Johannson, winner of the Queen of New York Battle? Or is it really true that they can have a Texas without the USA but not the USA without Texas and go with Jennifer Love Hewitt instead? Why don't you do the deciding for me.

Alison Brie

Killer body and if I am to believe all the droning y'all fans make about Alison Brie, girl is stacked with personality as well. I'm chalking it up to my leery nature of the fickleness of fanboy adoration, where you're so certain someone is terrifically hot until you collectively turn your noses on her. But I won't dwell, since that'll bring out my inner Eastwood and I don't have a lawn to yell crankily from.

Scarlett Johansson

I went through a phase (I do this often) where I needed to watch absolutely everything that ScarJo had starred in because I wasn't just going to get all giddy for what appeared to be a corn-fed healthy blonde that are far too common in the U.S. While I can't get into detail regarding all of her roles, ScarJo is what she is: the modern-day blonde bombshell because there is simply no other alternative that can touch her New York, corner hot dog vendor ass.

Jennifer Love Hewitt

For the complaining that was going on regarding the Texas selections I made, it is still up to YOU to vote, me count those votes the best of my math-challenged ability (I try to make sure I do it before I down my nightly shots, I swear), I'd like to say that the ultimate Queen of Texas being J-Love isn't really something to complain about. Girl got longevity and the don't-give-a-f*ck attitude for dealing with haters, which I adore.

The 4th of July may have already passed, but let's celebrate some of the greater parts of our nation by deciding who we should be the rightful Empress of the US. Is that Alison Brie, Scarlett Johannson or Jennifer Love Hewitt?

Source: IMDB

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