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Battle of the Babes #195: Sexy Sparks Ladies

02.09.2012by: Cherry Liquor

Know thy enemy, fellas. When it comes to movies, your most heated opposition is that Nicholas Sparks chap, the dude who writes the books that they base movies like this week's release THE VOW on. The dude peddles an unrealistic view of what your love for your gal should be, this gag-fest worthy devotion that you need to bow to. Most chicks buy into this shit. At the very least, these three actresses have in various Sparks book-to-movies.

Amanda Seyfried

Just as I was about to write this portion of the article, I heard my cat making that wet pukey sound that cats make. By the time that DEAR JOHN had debuted, I'd given up trying to give a shit about understanding my enemy, so I've never seen Amanda Seyfried have to pine for Channing "Short Bus" Tatum. Yes, I understand that people think it's mean that I call him that, but I'm not trying to be rude or demeaning. Just like these Sparks books/movies shouldn't be to the women of the world. (And since Tatum is also in THE VOW, I can dog on him extra, so suck it.)

Diane Lane

Diane Lane, man. Richard Gere. James Franco. A title with a hard to pronounce locale? I figured if any of the Sparks debacles was to pass the mustard (or whatever you kids are saying these days) it would have been from this crew in NIGHTS IN RODANTHE. Nope. More weepy crap. Older set of romantic leads. Another reminder that your mom wants to get laid too. *shudder*

Rachel McAdams

Normally I would be all about Rachel McAdams no matter what battle I stuck her in but seeing as how other than Tatum she's the other repeat offender being mentioned, I gotsta give her crap. First she gets all wet for Ryan Gosling, which I can understand, even if THE NOTEBOOK contains one of the biggest dick moves disguised as an unrealistic romantic gesture. (Girls, if a guy ever threatens to kill himself if you won't go out on a date with him, chances are he's bound to pull nastier stuff in the relationship later.) Now she's cashing another check by making THE VOW. Gosling I could understand breaking the rules for. Tatum? Unf*ckingacceptable.

Which Sparks gal creates the most heat for you?

Extra Tidbit: Last week THE WOMAN IN BLACK was beat by a small margin by CHRONICLE at the box office and the results were damn close with the Battle of the Hotties in Black. Vanessa Hudgens & Emma Stone TIED for first place with 35% of the vote each. Which means that Rooney Mara placed a very close second (third?) with the remaining 30%. Excuse me while I get all glad happy that I finally picked a group of three that was difficult to have a clear front runner. (Even though I thought it would be Emma.)
Source: IMDB

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