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Battle of the Babes #191: Wahlberg's Women II

01.12.2012by: Cherry Liquor

Am I the only person who thinks that it looks like Mark Wahlberg is scratching his back on the poster for CONTRABAND? Or that the guy is so much better when he's not playing a hard ass and lets himself have some fun? (I HEART HUCKABEES has to be one of my favorite roles of his, but THE OTHER GUYS and DATE NIGHT rank up there too.) Still, with that serious mug, he brings in some serious hotties. Let's evaluate a few more, since I previously battled 3 different ones of his.

Kate Beckinsale

CONTRABAND, from the trailers that I've watched, comes off as a weak alternate to the underrated and pretty damn good RUNNING SCARED. This time it's Wahlberg with the hot wife he's got to protect from the bad guys but if there isn't a scene where he's eating out Kate Beckinsale on top of the family dryer, I doubt the movie is going to grab my attention all that quickly or maintain it like Farmiga did later in the flick with her mobster wife rationality.

Mila Kunis

Didn't believe her for a hot second that she was a badass in MAX PAYNE but I'm not going to dis Mila Kunis for attempting to do something different than what she's known for. She has spot-on comedic timing which shouldn't go to waste and a sense of line delivery that packs a major punch with that squeaky little voice of hers. But no more law enforcement roles for her please. Well, unless they have some faked topless pics in them as well.

Zooey Deschanel

"Don'tcha wanna know what happened to the bees?" I can't help it, I often randomly spout that off when I overhear someone asking a stupid question at a retail store. It makes sense that that life from THE HAPPENING should be inserted into any implausible everyday interaction that you encounter. Wahlberg famously dissed being in this movie, stating that he wanted the chance to play a teacher instead of a hardass for once. I say stick to comedy the way your HAPPENING co-star Zooey Deschanel sticks to her stereotype of being the "wacky kooky chick" that dudes believe they can find around any corner if they look hard enough.

Which one of Wahlberg's women makes you wanna go face first into her honey pot?

Extra Tidbit: One young adult you're never going to get down is Charlize Theron, who slammed the competition with a 54% majority vote last week, despite the claims that many of the voters thought it was a tough choice or would have gone for all three. Rachel Weisz was a distant second with 29% and Emily Blunt swept up the remaining 17%.
Source: IMDB

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