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Baby for Biel?

08.28.2008by: Cherry Liquor

Just so that you're up to date on the way things work in Hollywood, the paparazzi either want you to A) have a movie that fails miserably after being hyped with a big budget, B) get cheated on publicly so that they can humiliate you further with the images of it or C) be pregnant so that they can take pictures of your hideously big belly in some attempt to prove that you're a real, live being and not just the caged, trained monkey that they really want you to be.

Now that that's out of the way, Jessica Biel is rumoured to be pregnant with Justin Timberlake's baby. She's also rumoured to be breaking up with him. And his mother hates her. And somewhere along the line she turned from a hot chick into some fem-mullet-sporting, dyke lookalike. Only one of those four things is true.

Seriously, when the f*ck did Biel get so dogdamn fugly? Is it like a radio-active carry-over thing from Justin's pecker having been in Britney back in the day? Does everyone he screw from now on go from formerly bone-able to downright shudder inducing? First he wrecked Cameron Diaz and now Jessica Biel. Keep him the f*ck away from ScarJo.

Source: Celebitchy


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