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3 Looks: Michelle Monaghan

09.26.2007by: Cush

Given a little more exposure, a better publicist and a couple more mainstream romantic comedy roles (ala her upcoming THE HEARTBREAK KID) and Michelle Monaghan could totally be the next hot chick to have her sudden fame break up her marriage. There's no doubt she's FHM's Hottest chick of 2008 potential. Take her unmatched natural beauty, throw in a little sass and add to it the fact that she looks really, really good in a Santa outfit and you've got a title contender, for sure.

#3 - 'Miranda' in THE HEARTBREAK KID

Ben Stiller plays Ben Stiller in another zany romantic comedy full of the same jokes you've been seeing since ALONG CAME POLLY or whatever. He plays a dude who takes a leap and marries a chick. Unfortunately she turns out to be insane and while on his honeymoon, he meets Michelle Monaghan. Actually I can sympathise.

Okay, unfortunate: immediate loss of points for starring in a Ben Stiller movie. I also have seen enough SEX AND THE CITY to know that I would never under any circumstance consider doing aything with a chick named 'Miranda'. That would be brutal. I can't really get over the fact that this is a Ben Stiller movie.

God, she looks great though. And she shouts the magic words 'Bottoms up!' in the trailer. However, as yet, I refuse to be fooled. A scalping would probably look great when you have to go home to a crazy person who sings 'Wannabe' by the Spice Girls. Let's reserve judgement for now and move on to numbers #1 and #2.


They never gave us an explanation so I'll make one up: Thandie Newton died. She cheated on Ethan Hunt, gave me head and then spontaneously combusted. Now Hunt is back doing his impossible shit and he's about to get married to the girl of his dreams (Monaghan). Don't worry this one's direct by JJ Abrams and has no vertical motorcycle action.

We don't get to see all that much of Monaghan, to be fair. We get a lot of Keri Russell, which sucks: that chick could run through my living room on fire and I don't think I'd notice. Anyway, we do get to see that she isn't averse to having sex in a public place, which is also her place of work: nice.

She also isn't averse to her husband just disappearing with absolutely no explanation, just a plea for her to trust him. That is pussy control, baby. She might be the girl of my dreams.

#1 - 'Harmony Faith Lane' in KISS KISS BANG BANG

Robert Downey Jr. plays a petty thief that gets whisked away into a crime investigation involving a gay detective, a movie and his childhood crush. Geddit?

Whatever year this movie came out, KISS KISS BANG BANG was my favourite movie of that year. After loving LETHAL WEAPONS 1 through 2, and following the whole Shane Black bitch-a-thon, there was no way I was gonna miss his directorial debut, especially not when Downey Jr and Val Kilmer were along for the ride.

Fortunately the film doesn't disappoint and it introduces us to a little thing I like to call unmatched natural beauty when Harmony Faith Lane (Monaghan) pops up and scares a giant robot into falling off of her balcony. Shane Black's heart is obviously in the right place because there's a dynamite scene where we have Monaghan don a slutty Santa outfit, wear it for about twenty minutes, and then has her run across MacArthur park and headbutt a dude. She also 'fucked every one' of our protagonist's friends (but one). If only all the easy girls looked like this.



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