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3 Looks: Eva Mendes

01.30.2008by: Cush

Eva Mendes is like the female Jason Statham - she is basically playing the same chick in every film. And while there might be minor character nuances, she always looks pretty much exactly the same. Don't get me wrong, it makes complete sense; she's smoking hot, like really, smoking hot - so why mess with it. To do so would be to slap god in the face, right?

Note: that does not mean that I think it to be true of Statham, homeboy needs some hair in my opinion.

So what of her top 3 looks? Well believe it or not, hidden in her films, she does occasionally do something different; sometimes she wears white, sometimes a playful red. Nah, there's a little more than that. And even if they ain't that different, are we really complaining?

#3 'Amanda Juarez' - WE OWN THE NIGHT

Joaquin Pheonix plays a New York nightclub manager, who tries to save his brother and father from Russian mafia hit men. This is probably Eva Mendes' best movie so far.

Okay, now this is your typical Eva Mendes: hot, hair down, flirtatious, and at some point, on her back. And unless you really try, it doesn't really ever get much better than this. Even if you're not you, even if you're any other chick on the planet, it just doesn't get much better than this. And seriously knocking it out of the park? A nice little, well...

#2 'April Mercedes' - STUCK ON YOU

In case you didn't get the memo that the Farrelly brothers suck now, this film sees conjoined twins from Martha's Vineyard move to Los Angeles so that one of them can pursue an acting career. They are played by Greg Kinnear and Matt Damon's evil twin.

Yeah, Mendes has some dynamite breasts, no question. And I'd like to think that picture speaks for itself, since when I was watching the movie, I was thinking maybe she just looked good because she was spending most of her time on the screen opposite a dude with two bodies, one of which being Greg Kinnear. I'm pretty sure that the Undertaker could look appealing in a sexual way next to that

Wannabe actresses are the best. They've got to be down there with nymphomaniacs and Britney Spears for the most easily fuckable chicks on the planet. If only they all looked like that.

#1 'Monica Fuentes' - 2 FAST 2 FURIOUS

Carrying on the trend of crazy hot chicks being unveiled by a FAST AND THE FURIOUS movie, this time around Paul Walker is back minus Vin Diesel and plus Tyrese. And it's not for the better. Also, since seeing THE BREAK UP, I can't take Cole Hauser seriously as a crime lord - you're going down, Verone! For what baby, for being awesome?

Mendes will always look best in this flick, because it's the first time she popped up on my radar. It was such a pleasant moment of serendipity, there I was with my ex-girlfriend, being forced to watch the sequel to a film I hated, and then boom there she is. And so mysterious too.

Massive negative: this marks the second time that a chick's hottest look has been playing Paul Walker's love interest. Jessica Alba being the other. God I hate that guy.


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3:09PM on 01/30/2008
She looks the same in all three of these. Worst. Three Looks. Ever.
She looks the same in all three of these. Worst. Three Looks. Ever.
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